Hi... Im not in mood and im going to express my feelings here since I got nobody to turn to. Yep everyone is super busy w their own work. Its 12 and Lany is sleeping. Okay \-.-/ Suddenly i feel like crying, screaming for no reason :( All the bad thought came and makes me feel like -,- screw everything.
Okay semalam mimpi abah :( Lepas lama sgt tak mimpi abah, smlm mimpi abah. Time tu dekat rumah tok mie, abah duduk dkt tempat yg abah duduk masa bday dia last year ( sehari sebelum abah meninggal ) Aku jalan straight g dapur, then tetiba rasa nk menangis. Pergi dekat abah, peluk dia and mintak maaf. Ya Allah sebaknya bila ingat, rindu abah sgt sgt sgt :'( I dont know why everybody keep asking me like this 'Kau tk rindu bapak kau ke?' 'Tengok kau okay je takda bapak kau'. Fck! Ini dah lama aku simpan senanye , skrg meh nk cerita. Do you expect me to tweet 24/7 like this 'i miss my dad so much' 'im crying right now,i need my dad'. Do you expect me to whatsapp/text/cll you and say 'i miss my dad, i cant stop crying'. Hah i never do that, yknow why? I will get the same advice! 'Be strong' 'yang pergi tetap pergi' 'sedekahkan al-fatihah' 'dont cry, i knw how you feel' NOOO! You dont know how it feels like! Unless you and me are in the same boat ! Rite? Hahah !
Maaaa. Im sorry. Imma bad daughter, ikr. Im sorrry!!! :( I dont know how to change my bad attitude. Im lazy, useless and many more. Sorry for not being a good daughter :( Along tahu mama terseksa, kena tipu dgn agen lahanat tu, tak dapat pindah , i know youre frustrated!!!! Im sorry!! It hurts me when you said 'along ni tak doakan lgsg dkt mama'. Ya Allah ma im sorry. For this rayuan, ill pray for you. Biar mama dapat tukar and kita pindah terengganu k. Im sorry fr being selfish :( Everytime I see yr face, i feel like crying :( I feel like hugging you. But i malu hahahaha k :'(
Girls, there's a reason why I want to stay. And there's a reason why I want to get out from KL :( I want to stay here bcs of you guys. K? Girls, all of you such a great, lovely, nice friends I ever had. Yah of course, no one can replace you guys. All of you are the gift from Allah SWT. All those great & bad times we had together, Ill never forget all the memories :') Nida, Mimi, Babe, Farah and of course Izaty. Im sorry for all my mistakes that ive done. Sorry fr my harsh words. Im not a good friend, im not a good listener, or a good advicer. Nida, sorry sbb bday aku la, duit kau banyak habis, im sorry :'( Mimi, Babe & Farah, sorry if ada buat apa apa yg korg terasa hati :') Izaty. Haha banyak dosa aku dengan kau. Aku tau :') Dah lama tau aku nk whatsapp kau tapi takda kekuatan, takut dgn reaksi kau. So aku cite sini lah eh. Sorry sgt sgt pasal hal haritu, ehee aku tau kau tau yg mana satu kan? Aku bengang time tu sbb cara kau tweet mcm kau tk suka kawan dgn aku or kiteorg mana satu pun boleh. Sorry, kau tahu aku baran sikit kan? Tbh, lpas dari hari tu, aku banyak gila mimpi kau. Serious. Sebelum tu takda pulak. lpas kes tu byk gila mimpi pasal kau. Bday aku pun rasa tk complete bila kau tak wish. Ini bukan nk amik hati , ini benda betul. Aku mintak maaf ty, maafkan aku. Aku tknk jd perempuan ego dah, aku mintak maaf seikhlas hati ni. Btw aku tumpang bahagia pasal kau dgn monyet kau skrg, congrats :)
Satu satunya sebab kenapa aku rasa nk pindah ialah .... mama. Tak sanggup nk tengok mama macam ni, mama derita. Aku tahu. Mama tk pernah tnjuk sedih dia. Bila mama marah, aku tahu mama sbenarnya tengah sedih. Feedup mintak banyak kali pindah tak dapat dapat. Girls, jangan pernah salah faham pasal ni. If aku tweet ke apa apa pasal pindah, aku just fikir pasal maa aku je kay. Takda niat nk lari,bosan dgn korg kepe. Dear self, please stop ask fr unnecessary things from your mum again. Dont make promise but you have to try. Yeah you must try! If you want anything, use yr own money please!
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